Review: Pretzal the Swamp Wyrm, by Bad Dragon

This week, we tackle the toy that started my collection, my obsession, and this blog: Pretzal the Swamp Wyrm, by Bad Dragon. To give a bit of background on the company, they sell high-quality sex toys. These sex toys also happen to be modeled after fantasy creatures, such as dragons and werewolves. Their toys are all made with 100% medical grade, platinum cure silicone - it's body safe, hypoallergenic, durable, and able to be sanitized with various methods, which we will discuss in a later post.

I would dearly love to get into the story of how I discovered Bad Dragon, but I don't want to derail this review. Let's just say that I stumbled across the website by chance, and have been hooked on fantasy dick ever since. Though Pretzal wasn't the first Bad Dragon dildo I saw, it was the one that captivated me.

Just look at that magnificent bastard. I can't use the images from Bad Dragon's website, because I don't want to get sued, but I think this photo of my Pretzal speaks pretty well for its defining qualities. Those curves! Those ridges! That cute little taper on the head! The moment I saw it on the website, I knew that this would be my first Bad Dragon toy. 

Bad Dragon offers their toys in a variety of sizes and firmness options, not to mention colors. You can customize your toy to suit your preferences. Each toy's product page has a handy size chart that shows the measurements. In addition to this, there is also a tool that allows you to compare different models and sizes side-by-side in actual size (this only works on the desktop site). My Pretzal has the following qualities: 

Size: Large

Firmness: Medium, also known as a 5 on the silicone firmness scale

Color: Shenanigans Green, offered during their St. Patrick's Day promotion in March; an emerald green with sparkly gold highlights.

Insert-able Length: 7.52" / 19 cm

Largest Circumference: 9" / 23 cm

Largest Diameter: 3.06" / 8 cm

Head Circumference: 5.78" / 14.6 cm

Head Diameter: 1.98" / 5 cm

Bad Dragon also offers this model with a suction cup and/or cum tube, which I declined to add. 

When I obtained Pretzal, I was certainly no virgin; but I was intimidated by the size and texture of this thing. In medium firmness, the bumps along the shaft hold their shapes very well under pressure, and it looked to me like they just might tear me apart. Still, I persisted. I warmed up with some stretching, added some lube, and went to town. 

My first thought was that the shaft enters more easily than anticipated. I took Pretzal on with help from my husband, who handled the toy while I lay on my back. With the tip pointing downward, it took only a moment of adjustment before it was sliding inside. I had never felt anything like it. The ridges rub in just the right way, while the gradual taper eases it in without going too quickly. Despite never having taken anything nearly as large, I soon had it completely in. 

And then the real fun started.

Pretzal, surveying his kingdom.

I truly believe that Pretzal's best use is in grinding. I love to ride it, and my favorite position when using Pretzal is to lie on my side with my husband behind me, supporting Pretzal's base with his knee while I push down on it. Nothing gets me off faster. I'm not sure if I believe in the existence of the G-spot (or at least, in the existence of my G-spot), but if it's down there, Pretzal can certainly find it. I've come very close to squirting a few times with Pretzal, particularly when grinding on him.

I've tried several curved toys since I got Pretzal, but there's something special about the Swamp Wyrm. My pussy wraps around it like a glove, snug but not overly stretched. The larger part of the shaft bulges out to press against the anterior portion of my vagina, causing the ridges to rub my clitoris from the inside. It's an intense feeling, and when I add some vibration on the outside, it always ends with a screaming orgasm that leaves me insensate for several minutes afterwards. If used in the right way, with the right firmness and size, this thing will blow your mind.

Thrusting with Pretzal is a bit of a different beast, producing a nice sensation that can become uncomfortable without enough lube. I've never hurt myself with this toy, but I have had moments of discomfort that had me pausing to apply more lubricant or to shift position. Most of the time, when I try to thrust with Pretzal, I end up planting it somewhere and just riding it until I come. 

Speaking of riding, I sometimes do wish that I had gotten a suction cup. My husband is almost always willing to lend a hand (or a knee) when I want to grind on Pretzal. The wide, heavy base keeps the toy steady when riding from the top. However, a suction cup would allow me to vary my positions a little. With a suction cup, you can stick it on a headboard or wall, get on all fours, and back it on up. 

Pretzal's base is large enough to keep it steady, but would still benefit from the addition of a suction cup.

I have sampled over 40 dildos from Bad Dragon, and several from other, more run-of-the-mill toy companies; Pretzal is still my favorite. Other toys bring me just as much - and sometimes even more - pleasure, but Pretzal's unique form makes him stand out to me. As one of the first toys I purchased from Bad Dragon, it introduced me to a whole new world of sex toys. Reliable, sturdy, and versatile, Pretzal is a great choice for anyone who wants something different in the bedroom.

This thing is all business.